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Normally I’m quite impulsive, I can make a decision pretty quickly and I stick with it. I always trust my gut instinct, it’s something that’s seen me through good and bad times and on the few occasions when I’ve been unsure or on the fence, going with my gut has always proved the right decision. It’s warned off fake or toxic friendships as well as helping me navigate through different jobs and general day to day life.
Recently I’ve been feeling indecisive which is new and a strange experience for me. It can be in relation to the most basic or mundane thing such as what to have for dinner all the way through to bigger and more impactful decisions. I’m generally quite methodical in my approach and thought process, often weighing up the pros and cons and taking an executive decision thereafter. I don’t know what it is but lately even that process hasn’t been helping and I’m finding myself struggling to make up my mind on the simplest of things. I’m not at all change adverse, if anything quite the opposite but I can’t seem to shake this cloud of uncertainness.
Maybe the current situation has something to do with it or the fact we haven’t really had the ability to make decisions on certain things for a while. It’s hard to make plans for the weekend ahead never mind any further forward. Even things you can do or plan in advance are not guaranteed to actually happen. Living under the strict restrictions for months on end and only starting to venture out more recently before being put back into lockdown has perhaps rattled my normal decision making process. Instead of the clear and considered options, everything seems blurred with no real indication of which route to take. I might need to explore some other methods or reintroduce a daily walk as that’s always a good way to think things through although I’ll be honest, it isn’t the most appealing on colder and now, shorter days.
This brings me back to the main point of this post and I think the overall reason behind my recent indecisiveness is the current status quo and not knowing when life may resume, not necessarily as it was before but with a certain level of normality and the ability to make a decision and see it through. I’m doubtful it’s anytime in the near future but I’m remaining hopeful the fog will clear both in my head and in day to day life.